While simple, it is easy to forget the importance of offering appreciation regularly and freely. It is worth noting that the root for the word appreciation also serves as a root for the words precious, price, and praise. This helps us realize that when we praise someone, we help them feel precious and increase their sense of value and self-worth.  
When we think of the act of showing appreciation, we find it helpful to think of a continuum. The person who has a habit of actively and regularly showing appreciation is on the far right side of the continuum. On the other end, the far left side is someone who is instead often critical and for whom depreciating others happens regularly. In the middle of the continuum—the neutral point—is a person who is neither appreciative nor critical. When we are at this neutral point, we are likely taking others for granted. In reality, we may feel appreciative of others but rarely make the effort to express it, so others never know.  
Imagine taking a potted plant in a shady corner of the room and moving it in front of a southern-facing window on a bright sunny day. Soon you will see the plant stretching tall and opening up to the sunlight. Appreciation has the same effect on people. But don't just take our word for it. Try it yourself, and notice how gradually the person you are showing appreciation to opens up their heart to you and may even stand just a little bit taller.  
Here are some examples of the principle of "what we appreciate, appreciates”: 
If we tell a child how precious they are to us simply because we want them to know how much we love them, we will likely see their face light up, if not their whole body.
If we let someone know we appreciate their efforts to face a complex challenge, we will increase their self-confidence and commitment to keep working to overcome their challenge.
If we express our gratitude and appreciation for something that someone does for another, we encourage more acts of kindness.
When we call someone who is alone and who could use a little appreciation, we make them feel cared about and likely make their day.
We are sure you can think of additional examples from your own life of how "what we appreciate, appreciates," and we encourage you to do so.

**“Traveling the Way of Love” - Season 2 offers video stories of the ways people across The Episcopal Church participate in the seven Way of Love practices. Produced by the Office of Communication in partnership with Evangelism colleagues, you can find each episode at iam.ec/TWOL2.**

"Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into his hands and that he had come from God and was going to God, got up from supper, took off his outer robe, and tied a towel around himself. Then he poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples' feet and to wipe them with the towel that was tied around him. He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, 'Lord, are you going to wash my feet?' Jesus answered, 'You do not know now what I am doing, but later you will understand.' Peter said to him, "You will never wash my feet." Jesus answered, 'Unless I wash you, you have no share with me.' Simon Peter said to him, 'Lord, not my feet only but also my hands and my head!'" - John 13:3-9 

From the beginning of creation, God has established the sacred pattern of going and returning, labor and rest. Especially today, God invites us to dedicate time for restoration and wholeness - within our bodies, minds, and souls, and within our communities and institutions. By resting we place our trust in God, the primary actor who brings all things to their fullness.

1. In this episode, host Chris Sikkema visits with Bishop Audrey Scanlan as they hike a small portion of the Appalachian Trail. Bishop Scanlan recounts her experience of learning how to humbly receive hospitality along the trail during longer hikes. She shares how when we stop doing and start receiving, we can rest in God's presence and love differently. Take a moment and consider - Is there a place where you need to stop doing and receive instead? What steps do you need to take to lean into that practice of rest?

2. Host Sikkema comments that when we take our time to stop and disconnect from our devices and to-do lists, we are more likely to see where God is present around us. He notes that "stopping is an act of faith". What do you think of this statement? What does it bring up for you?

3. The spiritual practice of rest, in its various forms, holds a transformative power. For Bishop Scanlan, it manifests in long solo hikes, where she carries everything she needs for survival on her back, and nothing needs to be accomplished beyond putting one foot in front of the other. In this space, she can release the tyranny of the urgent, allowing her to notice the shape and symmetry of wildflowers and the presence of God all around. What rest practice could you adopt to experience this transformative power? If you don’t have one, can you imagine what one might be?

Listening is a skill that can be learned and developed, just like any other skill. With attention and intention, we can all become better listeners. In high school and college, we both remember how we attended several classes which focused on public speaking, but neither of us can recall a class that focused on being a better listener.  
If we have any doubt about how valuable the gift of listening is, we only need to remember back to a time when someone extended the gift of deep, authentic listening to us. This may have been a time when someone listened not just to our words but the feelings beneath the words. How did that feel? Chances are, we felt like our spirits had been lifted, and both our well-being and our relationship with the person who offered us the gift of listening were both a bit greener due to this watering we were given.  
Because we are marriage and family therapists, people reach out to us to talk about what's on their minds. During the pandemic, people often said, "I don't expect you or anyone else to solve my challenges. And I don't need advice or superficial positivity. Mostly I just need someone to listen. I want to feel heard and understood." Don't we all long for this?
Valentines Day has come and gone, and the need to nurture and care for our relationships with our friends, families, colleagues, and neighbors remains. And one of the best ways any of us can do that is to offer others the simple gift of deep and authentic listening.  
Are you aware of any habits that interfere with you being a good listener, such as interrupting, giving advice, being distracted by screens, or multitasking?
What's one thing you could do differently to be a better listener?
To whom might you work at being a better listener this week?

**“Traveling the Way of Love” - Season 2 offers video stories of the ways people across The Episcopal Church participate in the seven Way of Love practices. Produced by the Office of Communication in partnership with Evangelism colleagues, you can find each episode at iam.ec/TWOL2.**
 
“Freely you have received; freely give.” – Matthew 10:8

Jesus called his disciples to give, forgive, teach, and heal in his name. We are empowered by the Spirit to bless everyone we meet, practicing generosity and compassion and proclaiming the Good News of God in Christ with hopeful words and selfless actions. We can share our stories of blessing and invite others to the Way of Love.
 
1. In this episode, host Chris Sikkema visits the Episcopal Farm Workers Ministry in Dunn, North Carolina. The ministry is a joint project of the Episcopal Diocese of East Carolina and the Episcopal Diocese of North Carolina that works with agricultural workers (farmworkers, meat processing plant workers, and workers from nurseries, packing houses, and poultry, swine, or livestock farms) and immigrant families in rural Eastern North Carolina. When asked about the needs of this community, Lucia Mondragón points out that she has learned that this community needs not just food but also affection. When you think about donating to a traditional outreach ministry such as a food pantry or soup kitchen, what would it look like for you to give the blessing of affection in addition to the sustenance of food? How does that challenge or resonate with your idea of “bless”? 

2. As Chris reflected, one of the enduring images of the Christian life is that of individuals moving along the spokes of a wheel. We find that as we draw closer to the center—that is, to God—we, by necessity, grow closer to other people. This is the work of the Holy Spirit, and as Chris says, it happens in all sorts of groups and communities. Take a few moments to reflect on the ways that you and/or your faith community are practicing “bless” currently. Are they drawing you and your community closer to God and others? If not, how might your practice need to grow or morph? 

3. “When they come, they bring their problems, and we need to hear them.” – Lucia Mondragón. Often, in our attempts to do the most good in the shortest amount of time, our practice of “bless” is stacked with to-do lists and busyness. But do we make time for listening? Do we make time to value the one story someone needs to share over the 10 things on our agenda? Do we value hearing as much as we value doing? If not, what might need to shift in our practice or understanding of “bless”?

**“Traveling the Way of Love” - Season 2 offers video stories of the ways people across The Episcopal Church participate in the seven Way of Love practices. Produced by the Office of Communication in partnership with Evangelism colleagues, you can find each episode at iam.ec/TWOL2.**
 
“As Jesus was walking along, he saw Levi son of Alphaeus sitting at the tax booth, and he said to him, ‘Follow me.’ And he got up and followed him.” – Mark 2:14
 
Like the disciples, we are called by Jesus to follow the Way of Love. With God’s help, we can turn from the powers of sin, hatred, fear, injustice, and oppression toward the way of truth, love, hope, justice, and freedom. In turning, we reorient our lives to Jesus Christ, falling in love again and again.
 
1. In this episode, host Chris Sikkema visits the Rev. Rita Powell and Alden Fossett at Harvard University. Together, they discuss what it means to practice “pausing” in a society that often demands exhaustion as a mark of worthiness. Where in your life could you press pause as part of a spiritual practice of “turn”?

2. When we choose to turn and pause, we have the opportunity to listen to people and places that often are overlooked or exploited. Rita and Alden shared stories of leading their communities to pause and listen to both the natural world and the stories of enslaved people. Whose stories and experiences are overlooked in your context? What would it take to practice listening deeply to those stories and experiences?

3. As the host says, when we can make something right, we are called to do so. The Episcopal Chaplaincy at Harvard hosts a series of meals out on the sidewalk as a way of making right previous church practices that excluded people from entering our doors as full members of our communities. By hosting a meal on the street, The Episcopal Chaplaincy community is turning from a tradition of oppression and gatekeeping toward a way of being that is open, just, and free for all.  As you think about your community of faith and personal practice of turning, what action steps can you take to make something right? What outward and visible sign can you signal that reflects a commitment to turning toward Jesus and his way of love?

As we prepare to transition to summer, many people look forward to two things: more time outdoors and a slower rhythm of life. If you are a regular reader/listener of our weekly column and podcast, you know we take a break from producing this content between Memorial Day and Labor Day. We do this so that we, too, can spend more time outdoors and live our lives at a slower pace. When we recently came across several creative versions of the well-known phrase ASAP (see box above), we posted them on our refrigerator to serve as a compass for how we intend to enjoy this coming summer. All of these are reminders that there is more to life than hurrying. And we have been fun creating our own versions, too.
In our fast-paced, always "on" world, hurrying is seen by some as a badge of honor. Many of us rush from task to task, conversation to conversation, rarely pausing to breathe, let alone reflect. While we may equate speed with productivity and importance, this culture of constant motion comes at a cost—one that takes a toll on our mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being.
There is an excellent quote that also appears on our refrigerator door.  "Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished." The quote is often attributed to Lao-tzu's ancient book Tao Te Ching, or Book of the Way,  but we have seen it attributed to other sources, too. No matter the source, the wisdom is a good reminder for us all as we transition to the rhythms of summer. 
And let's not confuse slowness with laziness. Slowing down is an intentional choice in the midst of a culture addicted to urgency. It's one thing we can do to reclaim our wellness, our spirit, and our lives.
We invite you to consider alternatives to the familiar ASAP that might guide your rhythm this summer as we have been doing. One idea we came up with is to make this summer a time to "Allow Space And Pause," which is precisely what we will be doing with pausing our column and podcast over the coming months. And as we take a break until September, we wish you all a wonderful summer, a summer where you might…
¨ Align Summer Aspirations Purposefully
¨ Adjust Slowly Allowing Peace
¨ Admire Summer’s Awesomeness Plentifully
¨ Anchor Summer Adventures Peacefully
¨ Appreciate Summer Abundance Playfully
¨ Awaken Summer Adventure Passion
¨ Activate Summer Aliveness Practices

….."And Similarly Add Phrases" to our list. In other words, feel free to play with and create your own wisdom version of ASAP.